I hate people

I like individuals, but I hate people. I know - I sounds crazy. But people, as a general rule, suck. 

People steal. People lie. People hurt each other, abuse children, are cruel to animals. People say mean stuff to each other on the internet.

Individuals are good. Kind. Friendly. Helpful. They comfort one another and care for each other. They are foster parents. They rescue animals.

Sometimes I just want to stay home and have Pink Dot deliver all my meals.

Is that bad?

The truth

Just because you're honest about something doesn't mean it's ok. Like, just because you were honest about cheating on your wife, doesn't mean that she can't be mad about it. "Well, at least I was honest!" Well, you're SUPPOSED to be honest! That's like saying, "Well, at least I didn't beat the shit out of anyone this afternoon." Duh. (Besides, all beatings should be administered in the morning.)

Financial advice for the youth of today.

Do not buy pizza with your credit card. I am still paying for pizza I bought back in 1996.

My garden

I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. He kept coming into my yard and digging up my garden. He kicked down the fence, pulled out the plants, and told me that I was doing it all wrong. Then he thought I should just put the plants back and pretend like it never happened.

I tried. I did. I put the uprooted plants back in the ground and tried to get them to grow roots again. He tried to water them, too. But it was too late. The plants all died.

So now I have to start a brand new garden, and he's not invited in.

Driving in LA

Here's the deal.... don't execute a left turn in front of me when no one is behind me for a hundred fucking yards.
... there is a far right lane for you to use for your right hand turn. Jerks.
... the little lever sticking out from the left side of your steering wheel is called a turn signal. Use it mother fucker!
... if you're gonna cut me off, don't hit the brakes and drive the same speed as the car next to you when you get in front of me. Put the fucking pedal to the mofo metal!
... there are other cars on the road. Look over your shoulder before you switch lanes, idiot.
... it's called a courtesy wave.
... when I put my turn signal on, it means that I'm coming into your lane. It is not code for "please speed up".
... it's 11am on a Thursday morning, why the hell is there so much traffic - don't you people have fucking jobs?
... get off the phone, you're not that important.
... it's the brake pedal, not a punctuation mark in your conversation.
... when you're driving 40 in the right lane on the freeway and traffic is going 60, I know you're texting. I fucking hate you.