Driving in LA

Here's the deal.... don't execute a left turn in front of me when no one is behind me for a hundred fucking yards.
... there is a far right lane for you to use for your right hand turn. Jerks.
... the little lever sticking out from the left side of your steering wheel is called a turn signal. Use it mother fucker!
... if you're gonna cut me off, don't hit the brakes and drive the same speed as the car next to you when you get in front of me. Put the fucking pedal to the mofo metal!
... there are other cars on the road. Look over your shoulder before you switch lanes, idiot.
... it's called a courtesy wave.
... when I put my turn signal on, it means that I'm coming into your lane. It is not code for "please speed up".
... it's 11am on a Thursday morning, why the hell is there so much traffic - don't you people have fucking jobs?
... get off the phone, you're not that important.
... it's the brake pedal, not a punctuation mark in your conversation.
... when you're driving 40 in the right lane on the freeway and traffic is going 60, I know you're texting. I fucking hate you.